A Worthy Purchase

Susie Essman was the emcee at the Nelson A. Rockefeller awards ceremony last night, an event orchestrated by SUNY Purchase and benefitting the school's arts programs. Among the honorees at the evening's event were choreographer Paul Taylor, artist Kiki Smith, jazzman Paquito D'Rivera, playwright Lynn Nottage and philanthropists Donald and Jane Cecil. During her remarks, the normally salty Essman kept things clean, as university president Thomas Schwarz looked on, later recommending the comedienne's book, What Would Susie Say? to everyone in the audience--provided they were over the age of 21.

The medals presentation was interspersed by performances by students from the college's arts program, vignettes lifted from the oevre of the honorees' work. The entertainment included Taylor's Company B and a scene from Nottage's Intimate Apparel.

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Curb Your Criticism

Bobby Zarin (left), husband of Real Housewife of New York City Zill Zarin, took it on the chin last night during a standup routine by Curb Your Enthusiasm comedienne Susie Essman. Performing at a benefit for ChairScholars, Essman was the evening's headliner and seemed genuinely unaware of the boldface identities of Zarin and her husband, who were seated just a few rows from the stage at Hudson Terrace.

In a good-natured rant laced with profanities unprintable here, Essman laced into Mr. Zarin, effectively comparing him to the ne'er-do-wells she once dated. "What do you do for a living?" she asked him pointedly. Unable to provide a straight answer, he became an easy target, one whom Essman would return to throughout her routine. "You get up in the morning....you get dressed...?" prompted Essman. Zarin replied that he got up at about noon, but still remained closed-mouthed about his job. (In fact, he oversees Zarin Fabrics, a company founded by his father, Harry, in 1936.) Though no damage was done (Zarin seemed thrilled by the attention), his wife made sure to stop by Essman's green room after the show for a visit. From what we could tell, all was well that ended well.

It could have been much worse. During a Friar's Club roast of real estate magnate Donald Trump in 2004, Essman lobbed barbs including: "Donald, did you enjoy your meal? I heard your hair ordered the salmon" and "I'm so not your type. I'm smart, my boobs are real and I speak English."

Yes, Zarin got off quite easily. He'd just better steer clear of the Friar's Club.