Channel Your Inner Bernie Madoff

New York steakhouse Maloney and Porcelli is feeling the pinch of the penny pinchers in accounting. With the economy still in limbo, they're discovering that some of the biggest investment firms (which traditionally have been among their biggest customers) are watching over employees' expenses even more hawk-like than ever. That's bad news for Maloney and Porcelli and perhaps even more glum for big-wig bankers who miss their sirloins. Fortunately for the carnivores of nearby insitutions like BlackRock Capital and Morgan Stanley, the steakhouse has come up with an ingenius workaround. Simply visit the Expense Report Generator, plug in the amount of your M&P meal and receive an immediate .pdf of phony NYC taxi receipts and meal expenses from low-brow-sounding places like Crabapples. Suitable for attaching to your expense reports, no questions asked.

Hold on, you say....won't the suits in accounting sniff something's amiss when they spot the M&P carry-out bag containing all of your steak fries? Thankfully, the restaurant will even send you away with a faux bag from a thriftier eatery, such as the Olive Garden or, for anyone really trying to appear budget-conscious, Sbarro.

No word on whether M&P delivers to Riker's Island.