Staying Late at the Office
Friday, October 2, 2009 at 8:50AM 
In light of the late-night king's big annoucement last night, we present: "The Top Ten Things We'd Like to Say to David Letterman"
Number 10: Too bad Hugh Grant doesn’t have a show. He could have had you on to apologize to America.
Number 9: For those of us who haven’t given you your wedding gift yet, is it OK if we take it back?
Number 8: Who takes checks anymore? Hasn’t your extortionist ever heard of a Swiss bank account?
Number 7: We know you love cigars. Please say you did not follow in the footsteps of a certain ex-president and his antics with said tobacco product.
Number 6: Yes, siree. The Palins are feeling mighty smug right about now. You betcha.
Number 5: You’ve given bold new hope to sixtysomething men across America.
Number 4: Was it love at Stupid Pet Trick?
Number 3: My, oh my. What will they think of this at the Home Office in Sioux City, Iowa?
Number 2: Next time, get Joaquin Phoenix to help you break the news to your audience.
Number 1: Are you sure you weren’t just hiking on the Appalachian Trail?
