Staying Late at the Office

In light of the late-night king's big annoucement last night, we present: "The Top Ten Things We'd Like to Say to David Letterman"

Number 10: Too bad Hugh Grant doesn’t have a show. He could have had you on to apologize to America.

Number 9: For those of us who haven’t given you your wedding gift yet, is it OK if we take it back?

Number 8: Who takes checks anymore? Hasn’t your extortionist ever heard of a Swiss bank account?

Number 7: We know you love cigars. Please say you did not follow in the footsteps of a certain ex-president and his antics with said tobacco product.

Number 6: Yes, siree. The Palins are feeling mighty smug right about now. You betcha.

Number 5: You’ve given bold new hope to sixtysomething men across America.

Number 4: Was it love at Stupid Pet Trick?

Number 3: My, oh my. What will they think of this at the Home Office in Sioux City, Iowa?

Number 2: Next time, get Joaquin Phoenix to help you break the news to your audience.

Number 1: Are you sure you weren’t just hiking on the Appalachian Trail?

When Joe Six-Pack Met Joe the Plumber

There were a batch of Joes, but no average Joes (or Janes) at the National Arts Club last night, where a "Heroes & Villians" Halloween ball brought out creative types aplenty. Among our favorite costumes: a frightening duo from AIG; a moose impaired by Sarah Palin; the Bailout Package; a Gossip Girl; and a regal young woman who called herself the Duchess of Democracy. Outside the Club, the streets of New York were filled with revelers in seriously clever get-ups. If only Halloween fell on Friday every year.

For more photos, click here.

A Heidi Halloween

Whether you're at Heidi Klum's bash tonight at 1Oak or down in Gramercy Park at the National Arts Club's "Heroes and Villains" black-tie ball, we wish you much merriment tonight. And if you're looking to be scared out of your wits (as if the plethora of Sarah Palin and Joe the Plumber costumes weren't enough to give you a decent fright), pop over to Blood Manor, where you'll encounter enough petrifying ghouls to last you till next October 31.